Basically, it's about this guy called Mike. He and I are really good friends (or at least we were, but I will get to that later), like, he's one of my best friends. I guess it all started around the 18th of December last year, whatever date I had my Christmas/Early Birthday party. It was at my house and I had a load of my friends round including Mike. I got really, really drunk and he took care of me and stuff. That was the night he first told me that he really liked me, and we made out three times (so I told my best friend, Mhairi, when I was drunk - he also confirmed this later)... but of course I didn't remember any of THAT the next day =/
So the next day he sends me a text message on my phone, asking me out on a date. We go and it's kind of awkward, nothing really happens except for a little sweet hand play (you know, he was stroking my hand and stuff). Then I got confused, as to what I liked him as - friend or more than a friend?
But then that "dilema" was quickly solved, as he text me again a few days later saying "I'm sorry, I really like you but it's not worth risking our friendship and I think I like Lizzie more." Ah, Lizzie. She's this girl in our grade who got pregnant because she slept around and she had to have an abortion - Mike supported her through ALL of that, even though they were never together and it wasn't his kid (he's a virgin). But she really screwed him around - she kept saying things like "Oh I really like you! But, um... I just slept with someone else."
So he texts me again a few weeks later, out of the blue, saying that he was having second thoughts about what he said to me, and that he still liked me, etc. I knew then that I only liked him as a friend, so I told him. But for some reason, I kept defending the fact that we should go out and that it WOULDN'T ruin our friendship, like he was afraid of.
Anyway, he basically kept saying that he wasn't sure if it was worth us risking our friendship by going out as a couple. And I told him that whatever he wanted to do was cool with me - stay friends or go out. He said he's going to think about it. That was when I only had luke-warm feelings for him - but now, it's like, I REALLY like him. And there's nothing I can do about it - I KNOW what's going to happen. He's going to say that we should just be friends (even though things are a little weird between us at the moment) and we'll probably never talk until the end of the year, but then we break up as it's our last year of high school and I'll probably never see him again! :( I may be overreacting just a little, but I really think that is going to happen.
I'm just stuck on what to do - I SO want to go out with him, but I can't see how. I mean, he's still really hurt after how Lizzie treated him, and it's kind of hard for him to trust people for a while. I don't want to wait too long, because before I know it, he'll be gone/have gone off me. What can I do to let him know that I care? He knows I like him, and we both like each other, but right now, we're getting nowhere. I just want to do something for him, you know...?
And should I wait for him? Like, I really think he is worth waiting for, because we've had This Thing for years... I think I have something here with him. But I'm scared of losing him :(
Basically, now things are going better - we're talking and stuff. He told my best friend Mhairi that he's still confused and messed up over Lizzie but he doesn't want to hurt me by making me wait and stuff... I just dunno how to make him see that.. well, I really want us to get together x.x We've had this on going THING for YEARS >.<;
::Hugs:: Thanks Buffy.