I can’t take this anymore. I need to say something, and say it now.
( I need to get this off my chest...Collapse )
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Hi, im sorry if I am being an annoyence, but I need a place to spill…
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You see, there is this guy that I really like (don’t know if it is love, I am only 12, so I don’t think I am old enough to experience that yet), but it feels like love…I have liked him since sixth grade, and now I am going into eighth. I think he knows that I like him, and people (my friends, his friends, people I don’t know) have been telling me that he likes me too. And this guy is just sooo…great. I mean, he is smart, athletic, nice, popular, outgoing, fun…everything. But he is also so…oblivious…I don’t think that he sees just how bad he is hurting me…I mean, maybe I am just being pathetic, but when he talks about liking other people, I do feel like I am going to cry. But I can’t. I don’t want him to think I need him, even though I do.
Sometimes it seems like he really wants to be with me, and other times he looks through me. Maybe I am being mellow-dramatic, but I don’t know he much longer I can contain all this emotion and pain I am holding in. I once thought about cutting myself because my heart was aching so bad. And I can’t talk to my parents, they are never home, always out on business…I have no siblings, close family…I am usually home alone. I can’t even talk to my friends. As much as I love them, they aren’t always reliable…And whenever they are high or drunk, they tend to spill things. I just don’t know who to turn to anymore.
And every time I think about him…I get happy for a split moment, but then I remember that he probably doesn’t love me, and I start getting depressed (which I sadly admit I am now). Last time this happened, I started getting depressed so often that I became a total “gothic” b**** that no one wanted to be around…And now I finally got nicer, and I got new friends, and I am actually popular and people like me…and just started being a “normal” person who was actually happy over half the time…And I don’t want to go back to how I was. I don’t think I am strong enough to stop myself.
I am really sorry about rambling, but this is my last resort…I don’t know where to go and I need help. I think I am going to fall.
okay... short time reader..and apparently first person to post since about february
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i just finished freshman year and over the summer before this schol year at marching band camp i met alot of new friends - mainly upperclassmen. well for a while, DJ and me were friends, then we were really good friends...and now that he's graduated i've discovered that the innocent crush i had on him is more than a crush. i really like him, i'm hesitatant to use the word love.. but many parts of it are applicable...my friends say he liked me at some point..and it actually came up once that i liked him... so he's knows..but i have a feeling he thinks i'm over it.
okay..one of my friends - not best friends but - likes him too. and i have this horrible feeling that if its gonna be one of us its her...in fact i think he likes her.
so the short and short of this incredibly long post is that i was wondering what i'm supposed to do about all this. we're really close friends..but just being around him makes my day better in so many ways...but i don't want to ruin anything between me and him or me and my friend... AHH!!! i hate this! help!
caught up with rose. apparently she's with john again and won't be chasing after or flirting with will (so i hope). i miss will. i haven't really talked to him in a while. thing is, i don't believe in love. or i didn't. i don't believe in the at first sight shit. but this has grown over half a year. i've known my dearest william for a little over half a year. and i'm sadly enough reporting that i am in love with him. and i don't like it. i don't like it since its so fucking one sided. i get close to him as much as i can. i try to ask him questions no one else will, i do whatever i can to help him; i listen. i love the sound of his heart beating or even him breathing. and i hate it. i hate that i notice all of his tiny little qualities and i know how he'll react to most anything. and i know that he wouldn't want me. he wouldn't want molly. he wanted me at some point, then i said i felt the same and it was as if his confession had vanished into thin air. we never talk about that day. we never talk about aussie. i think he's semi-aware, he doesn't tell me about dates and so on like he use to. that or this is just wishful hoping, that he's not with anyone. thing is, i'm willing just sit here and wait for him as long as it takes. i shall be waiting for as long as it takes. even if it takes years, i don't care.
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i told rose. she laughed and said, 'again?' and laughed when i told her how i felt about him.
'the other day you wanted nothing to do with him,' she responded laughing.
'because i hate the fact that i feel this way and i just simply talked to him on the phone and....' - m
'thats his charisma getting to you.' - r
'i hate charm.' - m
'then why do you want him so much?' - r
'he doesn't pull that bullshit on me. he tears down the walls when i'm alone with him.' - m
'then why don't you tell him?'- r
'he'll run for the hills.' - m
* silence * - r
i do not like that i feel this way for him. and i wish this feeling would leave me be. i want something good now. i don't want to wait, tortured. but thats what i have to do. will is well, somewhat an charismatic type that everyone loves and the girls like to flock to him.
and then dr. of psychology (nate), is giving me that adoration look. i hope he's not thinking of anything besides friendship, i'm not attracted to him, he's very sweet but... i guess i'm too wrapped up in will. i don't get nervous around nate ever, only if he looks into my eyes too intensely and beyond that its nothing. i want will. i want the one person i am comfortable telling everything.
hiiiiiya buffy! hmm that may not b ur real name
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but can i call u that neway??..ok ok that's not the question i wanted to post..it's also an lj "how to.." question (like the gal's below mee!) erm..here it goes:
at the bottom bar of every lj entry there's the [post a comment] link riiiight? well how do i change the 'label' of that link into my own..? e.g. instead of [post a comment] i wanted to have [spank meeh] or somethin like that...hope u gets wot im trying to sey!
I dunno if you can help me with this because it's a livejournal 'how to' question, but how do you make it so that when i edit my info, where i write a name of an lj community, or an lj user, it shows up with the icon, and link to that user/community, you know what i mean?
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Short-time reader, first-time poster.
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I was talking to my ex-girlfriend yesterday...just kinda talking about how things have been since we broke up (on november 1st, if anyone cares) and somehow the topic came to her feelings for me.
She basically told me that she cared about me then, and she still cares about me now, but the reason she scares away from a relationship is because she doesn't think she's good enough for me.
I'm 17, so my mindset is still stuck in the "I'm worthless garbage" stage, and I can't see how she can think that she's not good enough.
So I throw the question on the mercy of ask_buffy...
Can women be afraid of relationships because they don't think they're good enough for the man?
Okay, first off - although Mike is treating me really badly right now, he's not the huge asshole that you guys probably think he is. I just think that he's very, very confused. HOWEVER, that is no excuse to keep me waiting. I think what he is doing is wrong, but there's no point going into that.
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Basically, last Monday I sent him a text message saying this:
"Mike, I'm not trying to be forward but I've been expecting an answer from you for weeks. I tried to talk to you today but you blew me off. We need to talk sometime you know. I really like you and I want things to work out between us. I know you got hurt by Lizzie but you can't keep me waiting forever! Text back."
Monday: I got the train with Mhairi, and Mike was there as he always gets the train. I said to him at least 2 or 3 times "Come talk to me." - those were my EXACT words, but he basically said no. He went and sat on the bench next to us and played someone's guitar. o_o;
Tuesday: (I wasn't at school this day or the next) Mhairi talked to him, asking him why he didn't text me back - he had no credit to do so. Fine. She also asked him why he basically ignored me at the train station, and he got mad saying that he didn't and that HE tried to talk to ME but *I* ignored him. HAH! As if.
Wednesday: Kayliegh also asked him the same as above - not knowing that Mhairi had already done so - and Mike got even more mad.
Thursday: Mike was all depressed. Looked ready to bite peoples heads off.
Friday: A little better, but still a little sad-looking. I asked Matt (his best friend) why he was so upset, and Matt dodged the question. I think it may have been because of me, but because I don't actually know, I'll just say it was because of something else.
So after another week - still no answer from him. Even more ignoring. I want to let him go, I really do. But I can't. I didn't think that I liked him THIS much. Trust me, normally by now the guy would be LONG gone, but I just can't seem to move on for some reason! I can't force him to give me an answer, he's a complicated guy and now I have nothing to do. Right now I think he hates me, and I don't even know if he likes me still. I'd text him again but he has no credit and I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or that I'm waiting at his beck and call or anything o_O; I'm not like that. I just want to do something to SPEED UP THE FRICKEN PROCESS.
Thanks Buffy ^^;;
Hi, I've been on Lj for a while, and I want to meet some people now. Can anyone help me?
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I would just like to point out that I turned off the log-IP thing so if ANY of you have a question, please feel free to comment without revealing who you are.
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I will make a post like this every once ina while (when the community starts to pick up a it) so you don't have to be embarassed to ask any question you want!
Hello, welcome to ask_buffy! Please read the info page and join this community if you have any burning questions that need to be answered! I hope I can help and I promise to answer every and all questions!
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